Words have never felt more superfluous and yet so important. They jostle around in my head sounding cliche and inefficient at expressing so many emotions. However, I want to tell my children so many things.
Monday of last week Grandma Jensen was at the Museum of Idaho with all the Enger cousins. She was doing what she loved most--spending time with her grandchildren and bragging about all of them to people she saw at the Museum. And then she had a heart attack. Last year she had a minor heart attack (cardio myopathy) and I don't think her heart was ever quite the same. Monday night we kept getting updates from Daniel's sister Erin. This whole time Daniel was trying to decide if he should go on his business trip to Wyoming. Tuesday morning we realized the severity of the situation. Grandma Jensen had to be transported to Salt Lake City for additional help so we and the Engers drove to Salt Lake.
Grandma wasn't really ever conscious after the heart attack, and even as frail as her heart was they attempted surgery. Things never really looked optimistic. It was a blessing to have family gathered with us in the hospital waiting room. Daniel's brother had beaten us there from Kansas City, and Grandma's sister and Grandpa's sister were also there. Being at the hospital was impossibly hard and eventually it became apparent that we were going to lose her. There were lots of tears shed over such a sudden loss of such a wonderful person.
Grandma Jensen was the best type of person.
Looking back I can't believe that I have only known her for five years. I have felt like one of her daughters since the first day I met her. She had the uncanny ability to relate to people quickly and deeply. I know people who have only met her once or twice, but were impacted by her compassion and kind heart. I find myself telling those who are consoling me how much she loved
them. She loved all that was good--she had very few vices. She loved the beauty of the Earth and watching the seasons change. She loved teaching and children. She loved animals. She loved providing service whether or not she was feeling physically able. She loved to give. She loved to share. She loved the gospel. She loved family more than life itself. While her physical heart may have been weakened overtime, I believe emotionally her heart was one of the fullest and strongest hearts I will ever know.
Sure she had the tendency to worry over each of her children and grandchildren or stress over birthday presents and homemade gifts or she would push her ailing body past its limits just to be
there-- be there for holidays, phone calls, shopping trips, babies, games, and a clean house :)--but she was doing what she loved.
Grandma Norma Jensen was the best type of grandma.
All grandmas should aspire to be like Grandma Jensen. She is textbook-grandma. Whenever grandkids were around, she would always have them gathered on her lap (regardless if it was one child or four) with a book in hand or singing songs. Colter commented we should build a statue of grandma--Daniel agrees and we would depict her surrounded by all those beautiful grandkids with her beautiful beaming smile. She would play until her body could take no more and then she would keep playing. She sang songs and played board games. She was silly and loving. She was an amazing teacher. Grandkids would leave her house with all kinds of new tricks, talents, and skills because she was such a talented teacher. She made delicious cookies and always had great food on the table.
Sophie is very special to Grandma Jensen.
Our sweet baby girl had four special months with her Grandma. In every other circumstance Grandma Jensen was there for the first weeks of a grandbaby's life and then had to leave to go home. She was able to see so much of Sophie's life that she always wanted to see of her grandbabies. Sophie rolled over for the first time at Grandma's house--and to this day has probably rolled over more there than at home. Grandma was able to be there for those first darling baby smiles and laughs. And would look over Sophie and say, "Are you telling me stories? I love it when you talk." And Sophie would coo and smile back at her. Grandma saw that little personality come out in Sophie--our happy little girl. Once Grandma came over unexpectedly just to check up on Sophie and me. I had just gotten out of the shower and she offered to change Sophie while I got dressed. Somehow she startled Sophie (I think it was her freezing cold hands!) and Sophie lost it. She cried big, huge, uncontrollable sobs. And that broke Grandma Jensen's heart. She left and I just knew that she was crying too. Erin confirmed that afterwards Grandma called her and cried and cried, only because she wanted nothing more than to help and to have that baby girl love her. Of course that was a one time incident and Sophie never cried at her like that again. And every time we left their house Grandma would say to Sophie, "I love you too much." Grandma Jensen was there during those tough early weeks of being a new mom. She would sit like a statue while Sophie slept in her arms. And I knew there was no where else she would rather be--even though it meant great physical pain for her the next day. She was just a great source of support to me as I began the journey of motherhood.
Daniel is so saddened that our children will not have this spectacular Grandma in their lives. I learned so much from her on being a mother and loving others that I will try my hardest to emulate those actions I know will bless the lives of my children and those around me. And now they have one of the best guardian angels you could ask for--no one will be watching over our children more than her.
Daniel loves his Mom
One thing I loved about Daniel from the beginning is that he acted like he was best friends with his mom. I loved that. They talked about everything and debated things all the time. She was always concerned about him and wanted him to succeed. She was able to see him graduate high school and college, go on a mission, get married, have a baby, and start his career. She was so proud of him. I was always impressed that she took an interest in sports when Daniel was in high school because she knew it was something they could talk about and it was something they always talked about. He loved her cheesy potatoes more than any potatoes I've ever made and he is on his way to making cookies just like her. He is such a momma's boy. :)
Things will never be the same for us. We lost an amazing piece of our lives, but she left a legacy of love and kindness. In so many ways I aspire to be like her. I am blessed to have known her and be part of her family.
